You and I are so awfully different

[F]You and I are so [Em7]awfully diff'[A7]rent
Too [Dm7]awfully diffe[G7]rent, to [C]ever be [C7]pals
Your [F]favorite hero is the [Em7]Marquis de [A7]Sade
You get a [Dm7]stiffy from [G7]Phylicia Rashad
[F]I've a style flair, just [Em7]look at my hip [A7]hair
Oh yeah, that's [Dm7]quite a nice 'do [G7]there
For [C]me to poop on!
There's [F]not, a whole [G]lot, that we've [Em7]got, to a[A7]gree on
'Cause [Dm7]I love the strings of a [G7]classical score
And [Em]I like that singer who [A7]looks like a whore
"Ricky Martin?" - "Love him"
[F]We're [G]too different to ever be [C]pals
[F]You and I are so [Em7]awfully diffe[A7]rent
Too [Dm7]awfully diffe[G7]rent, to [C]ever be pals
Your [F]head's as massive as a [Em7]meteo[A7]rite
[Dm7]You have a weenie like a [F]Christmas [F#dim]tree [G]light
I bet [F]money, you'll marry a [Em7]honey [A7]
Who's [Dm7]pretty and [G7]funny, and her name will be [C]Ted
Oh a gay joke!
I just work with what you give me
You might [F]think we're in [G]sync, but we [Em7]stink, as a [A7]duo
'Cause [Dm7]you get a kick out of [G7]carnage and guts
And [Em]you get a kick out of [A7]stroking your...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't say that on TV
What? Ego? - Never mind
We're too [F]different to [G]ever be [C]pals