Down's Syndrome Girl

Capo 3
You've [G]got to look your best tonight
You [Em7]tubby little parasite
'Cause [C]there's a lovely lady and she's [Cm]waiting for [D]you
And [G]though her pretty face may seem
A [Em7]special person's wettest dream
Be[C]fore you get to see it there are [Cm]things you must [D]do

We'll [C]try a [Cm]tie and [Bm]boutonniere of [Em]yellow
Or a [C]rose that [Cm]shows that [Bm]you're a classy [Em]fellow
With the [C]posh pa[Cm]nache of [Bm]Jefferson at [E7]Monticello
[Am7]Busting out a [D7]mile with style

I [G]know you just can't wait to stare
At [Em7]all that luscious orange hair
But, [C]boy, before you touch a single [Cm]curl
You [Bm]must impress that ultra bloomin'
[Em]All-consumin', [E7]poorly groomin'
[Am7]Down's [D7]Syndrome [G]girl

On [G]any normal day you reek
As [Em7]if you're on a farting streak
Your [C]finger's up your
nose and you are [Cm]dripping with [D]drool
But [G]if you want a lady's love
You're [Em7]better off by smelling of
A [C]gentleman's cologne instead of [Cm]sneakers and [D]stool
A [C]squirt, a [Cm]spurt
Of [Bm]something just for [Em]Ellen
And you'll [C]see, that [Cm]she
Will [Bm]find you so [Em]compellin'
And she [C]does, be[Cm]cause
The [Bm]only smell that [E7]she'll be smellin'
[Am7]Won't be coming [D7]from your bum

You [G]wanna take that little whore
And [Em7]spin her on the dancing floor,
But [C]boy, before you do a single [Cm]twirl
You [Bm]must impress that effervescing,
[Em]Self-possessing, [E7]no BS-ing
[Am7]Down's [D7]Syndrome [G]girl

Her [A]eyes are emerald [F#m7]portals
To a [C#m]secret land of [Dm]love
And her [A]smile is like the [F#m7]sweetest summer [C#m]flower
Her [A]kiss is so in[F#m7]viting
And her [C#m]hugs are so de[Dm]lighting

And what makes [G#]them really [A#]nice
Is that they've [Cm]got a little [C#]spice,
Because they're [A]tighter than a [B]vise
And they go [C#m]on for an [D]hour

My [F]boy, between the two of us,
We'll [Dm7]get you on that shorty bus
And [A#]then you're gonna take it for a [A#m]whirl.
Now [A#]go impress that [A#m]super-thrilling,
[Am]Wish-fulfilling, [D7]Yoo-Hoo spilling,
[A#]Ultra-swinging, [A#m]boner-bringing,
[Am]Gaily singing, [D7]dingalinging,
[A#]Stupefying, [A#m]fortifying,
[Am]As of Monday, [D7]shoelace tying,
[A#]Stimulating, [A#m]titillating,
[Am]Kitty-cat im[D7]personating,
[A#]Mega-rocking, [A#m]pillow-talking,
[Am]Just a little [D7]crooked walking,
[A#]Coyly pouting, [A#m]booby-sprouting,
[Am]For some reason [D7]always shouting,
[A#]Fascinating, [A#m]captivating,
[Am]Happiness and joy [D7]creating...

[A#]Down's [C]Syndrome [F]Girl!